Saint Mary's

The Parish Church of Prittlewell

     From Father Shaun

Dear friends,

In the Old Testament, there is an exchange between the prophet Elijah and the false prophets of Baal which always makes me smile when I read it or hear it read (it can be found in chapter 18 of the First Book of Kings). In a contest to see whose God will answer from heaven and send fire upon a prepared animal sacrifice, the prophets of Baal get no answer from heaven. Elijah indulges in some gentle mocking, saying, “Cry aloud, for he is a god; either he is musing, or he has gone aside, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.” (1 Kings 18:27) Elijah then prepares his sacrifice, even pouring water on it just to make the moment far more awesome when God acts and sends fire to consume it – which, of course, he does.

One of the great challenges brought time and time again against God (and laid at the door of Christian believers) is why God seems silent when prayers are made for peace/the elimination of poverty/healing from illness and so on. Some might simply say it proves God either doesn’t exist, or that he’s not the all loving or all powerful God Christians proclaim him to be. Others might struggle not with the existence of God or his goodness, but why he doesn’t seem to answer prayers. Does he hear them? Is he listening?

During the reflections I offered on the Parish Quiet Day ahead of Lent, I quoted some words from the book of the prophet Jeremiah. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.” (Jeremiah 29:11ff) God does truly listen: this is something I fully believe. The fact that there’s no easy and obvious ‘nice’ answers to the questions I’ve outlined which some people ask doesn’t disprove God’s existence or make him impotent or uncaring.  I believe God listens to every word we say, and every word we don’t say but which we feel and think, and to which our lives testify. He listens to every thought and word which people call prayer but which are, in fact, words of blackmail or self-centredness. He listens to those who pray for rain and those who on the same day pray for sunshine. He listens to those prayers that are highly articulate and to those groans and moans which are far from articulate. AND HE TAKES NOTICE AND UNDERSTANDS.

Here is the crux of the matter of listening. Listening is not always about doing something as a result of what we hear. Listening first and foremost is about hearing and understanding. Surely this is true both of our human listening (to one another), and God’s listening to us. The spiritual writer Henri Nouwen comments:  “Listening is the highest form of hospitality... This hospitality is not to change people but to offer them space where change can take place.” Another well-known Christian writer, Gerard Hughes, goes on further to say, “The gift of being a good listener ... is perhaps the most healing gift anyone can possess, for it allows the other to be – it enfolds them in a safe place, does not judge or advise them, accepts them as they are without desiring to change them, and communicates support at a level deeper than words.”

Listening – Holy listening – is something which we should be seeking to engage in as a Christian community. Whilst there are parallels between God’s listening to us and our listening to each other, there are also some significant differences. Yet the two ideas I’ve mentioned, of hospitality and healing, are essential for our growth as Christians and, I believe, our growth as human beings. I could say a lot about God’s listening to us, but I want to outline a few thoughts about our listening to each other.

Firstly, it’s always worth us considering how thought-through are the things we might hear when we listen to someone. Sometimes people have considered carefully, and maybe over a long time, what they will say to us before they open their mouth; at other times the words might simply fall out unprepared and of the moment.  Our listening needs to keep this in mind. Secondly, Holy Listening is about loving another person in spite of what they say to us, and being Christ-like in the way we give a person time and space to be before us with their agenda and their life. It’s about being non-judgemental of the person we hear speaking, even if we do make judgements privately about what they tell us. Thirdly, Holy Listening might mean that sometimes we can be left feeling helpless or uncomfortable or confused. Fourthly, our listening need to be done in a way which is more comprehensive than hearing what’s said, or even what’s not said (between the lines, so to speak). We should listen to people’s situation in life (bereaved, homeless, ill, rich, jobless...) as well as their facial expressions, their body, the silences and emotions and the use of voice. Even the sort of language they use and their choice of words. All this is part of what holy listening is about.

It’s all to listen to fall into the trap of thinking that we’re listening when we’re not; of only half-listening or to hear what we want or hope to hear when people speak to us, translating their words into our agenda. To become holy listeners we must concentrate, be open to God, and be open to challenge and surprise and fear and joy. In Christ we see time and again a great paradigm of what it is to be a holy listener. He stands alongside people in the reality of their situations, he doesn’t judge them (although he’s often very clear what he thinks about the rightness or otherwise of their actions), and he understands what it is they are saying – whether verbal or not – to him. His response is sometimes to be silent, sometime to console, or challenge or ask their question back to them. And in it all he makes the time and effort to talk to his Heavenly Father and listen to him – something vital in holy listening.

God listens and hears what we are saying to him: may we be desirous of being such holy listeners too.

Editor's note:      The Lent Quiet Day may be found more fully described on the 'Daily Prayers' page